Balancing It All, While Flying Solo

In her col­umn today, the Journal’s Sue Shellenbarger describes indi­vid­u­als who, tired of jug­gling the pres­sures of work and per­sonal life, opt out of high-powered, and often high-paying careers to have more time for fam­ily, friends and other out­side inter­ests. The catch: they’re single.

The strug­gles of work­ing moms have long been cen­tral to dis­cus­sions of work-life bal­ance, and, more recently, work­ing dads are mak­ing such bal­ance a pri­or­ity as well. But Shellenbarger finds that, increas­ingly, more sin­gle women are express­ing a desire for more free time. She cites a 2011 More Magazine poll which found that 68% of child­less women say they would pre­fer hav­ing more time over more money, com­pared with 62% of women with children.

And it’s not solely an issue for sin­gle women, Shellenbarger notes. Research from the University of Texas at Arlington found that man­agers assume sin­gles don’t have any­thing to do but work and will often pile on extra duties and projects. She spoke with Sherri Langburt, founder of SingleEditionMedia.com, who said that the strug­gles of sin­gles often go unno­ticed. Singles have to ”get the laun­dry done, get to the gym, buy gro­ceries and get to the job,” Langburt argued, “plus plan social activ­i­ties or vol­un­teer work and some­times care for aging rel­a­tives, too.”

I felt a wave of iden­ti­fi­ca­tion read­ing Shellenbarger’s col­umn. I remem­bered a time when, while reg­u­larly work­ing to 8, 9, 10 at night, I would watch col­leagues leave work at 6 for — I imag­ined — roman­tic din­ners with part­ners, or laughter-filled evenings with the kids. Colleagues who had sick chil­dren at home seemed to have a much eas­ier time not com­ing into the office, while I suf­fered at my desk with the flu. “What about tak­ing care of my ‘inner child’?” I growled to myself.

I see things dif­fer­ently these days. The desire to have a full life — which includes a pro­duc­tive career, a vibrant social life and a clean bath tub — can only be met with a cer­tain amount of com­pro­mise. So some­times the dishes go unwashed, some­times I work late and miss out on happy hour, and some­times the office to-do list just gets longer. And I imag­ine the same would be true if I were mar­ried with children.

Readers, for the sin­gles among us, what are your tech­niques for bal­anc­ing all aspects of your life? Do you find your man­agers take advan­tage of your sin­gle sta­tus and load on more work? And for the part­nered par­ents out there, how has the jug­gling act changed for you since you left sin­gle life? Are we fac­ing a “grass is greener” scenario?

Article writ­ten by Allison Lichter and orig­i­nally pub­lished on the Wall Street Journal Online.

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